INyaniso kwiNtliziyo yeNtsebenziswano yoLuntu
Kwincwadi yakhe ethi "Yeka ukuba mnandi, yiba yinyani! Ukuba nabanye ngelixa uhleli wena”, uThomas D'Ansembourg unikezela nzulu ukucinga ngendlela yethu yokunxibelelana. Ucebisa ukuba ngokuzama ukuba ngabantu abalungileyo, sikhukuliseke kwinyaniso yethu yangaphakathi.
Ububele obugqithisileyo, ngokutsho kuka-D'Ansembourg, ngokuqhelekileyo luhlobo lokuzifihla. Sizama ukuba ngabamkelekileyo, maxa wambi ngokutyeshela iimfuno neminqweno yethu. Kulapho ingozi ilele khona. Ngokungazinaki iimfuno zethu, sizibeka esichengeni sokuphoxeka, umsindo kunye nokudakumba.
UD'Ansembourg uyasikhuthaza ukuba samkele unxibelelwano oluyinyani. Luhlobo lonxibelelwano apho sivakalisa iimvakalelo neentswelo zethu ngaphandle kokuhlasela okanye ukugxeka abanye. Ugxininisa ukubaluleka kokuqinisekisa, okukwazi ukuvakalisa ngokucacileyo iimfuno zethu kunye nokubeka imida.
Ingcamango ephambili kwincwadi yileyo yoNxibelelwano olungenabuNdlobongela (i-NVC), imodeli yonxibelelwano eyenziwe nguMarshall Rosenberg wengqondo. I-NVC iyasikhuthaza ukuba sivakalise iimvakalelo zethu neemfuno ngokuthe ngqo, ngelixa simamela ngovelwano kwabanye.
I-NVC, ngokuka-D'Ansembourg, sisixhobo esinamandla sokuqinisa ubudlelwane bethu kunye nokudala unxibelelwano lokwenyani nabanye. Ngokuba yinyani ngakumbi kunxibelelwano lwethu, sizivulela kubudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo ngakumbi.
Ububele obufihliweyo: Iingozi zokunganyaniseki
Kwi "Yeka ukuba mnandi, yiba yinyani! Ukuba nabanye ngelixa uhleli wena ”, uD'Ansembourg ujongana nengxaki yobubele obufihliweyo, i-facade uninzi lwethu oluyamkelayo kunxibelelwano lwethu lwemihla ngemihla. Uxela ukuba obu bubele bomgunyathi bunokukhokelela ekunganeliseki, ukuphoxeka kunye nongquzulwano olungeyomfuneko ekugqibeleni.
Ububele obufihliweyo bubakho xa sifihla iimvakalelo neentswelo zethu zokwenene ukuze siphephe ungquzulwano okanye samkeleke kwabanye. Kodwa ngokwenza oko, siyazibandeza ithuba lokuphila ubudlelwane obunyanisekileyo nobunzulu. Kunoko, siphelela kulwalamano olungenantsingiselo nolunganelisiyo.
Kwi-D'Ansembourg, undoqo kukufunda ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zethu zokwenene neemfuno zethu ngentlonelo. Lo ayingomsebenzi ulula, njengoko ufuna inkalipho kunye nokuba sesichengeni. Kodwa luhambo oluyifaneleyo. Njengoko sisiya sinyanisekile ngakumbi, sizivulela kubudlelwane obuphilileyo nobunzulu.
Ekugqibeleni, ukuba yinyani akulunganga kuphela kubudlelwane bethu, kodwa nakwintlalontle yethu. Ngokuvuma nokuhlonela iimvakalelo neentswelo zethu, siyazinyamekela. Linyathelo elibalulekileyo elikhokelela kubomi obanelisayo nobanelisayo.
Unxibelelwano olungenabuNdlobongela: Isixhobo sokuZichaza ngokwenyani
Ukongeza ekuphononongeni imiba ejikeleze ububele obufihliweyo, “Yeka ukuba mnandi, yiba yinyani! Ukuba nabanye ngelixa uhleli wena” inikezela ngoNxibelelwano olungenabuNdlobongela (NVC) njengesixhobo esinamandla sokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zethu kunye neemfuno zethu ngokwenyani nangentlonipho.
I-NVC, eyilwe nguMarshall Rosenberg, yindlela egxininisa uvelwano kunye novelwano. Kubandakanya ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo ngaphandle kokugxeka okanye ukugxeka abanye, nokuphulaphula abanye ngovelwano. Embindini we-NVC ngumnqweno wokudala unxibelelwano lomntu oluyinyani.
Ngokutsho kwe-D'Ansembourg, ukusebenzisa i-NVC kwintsebenziswano yethu yemihla ngemihla kunokusinceda ukuba siphume kwiipateni zobubele obufihliweyo. Kunokuba sizicinezele iimvakalelo neentswelo zethu zokwenene, sifunda ukuzivakalisa ngentlonelo. Oku akusivumeli kuphela ukuba sibe yinyani ngakumbi, kodwa sikhulise ubudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo.
Ngokwamkela i-NVC, sinokutshintsha intsebenziswano yethu yemihla ngemihla. Sisuka kulwalamano olusenyongweni nolusoloko lungonelisi siye kololwenene nolwanelisayo. Lutshintsho olukhulu olunokuphucula kakhulu umgangatho wobomi bethu.
“Yeka ukuba mhle, nyaniseka! Ukuba nabanye ngelixa uhleli wena” lubizo lobunyani. Kusisikhumbuzo sokuba sinelungelo lokuba ngokwethu kwaye sifanelwe kukuba nobudlelwane obunempilo nobanelisayo. Ngokufunda ukuba ngumntu wokwenene, sivula ithuba lokuphila ubomi obutyebileyo nobanelisayo.
Kwaye khumbula, unokuziqhelanisa neemfundiso ezingundoqo zale ncwadi ngokusebenzisa le vidiyo ingezantsi, kodwa oku akuthabathel’ indawo ukufunda yonke incwadi ukuze uqonde ngokupheleleyo ezi ngqikelelo zenguqu.
