Whatever the era, efficiency has always been a sought-after quality in the professional world. And this quality is also not on the margins when it comes to the field of writing at work (also called utilitarian writing). Indeed, it is the set made up of: activity report, letters, notes, report ...
By way of illustration, I have been asked on many occasions to review the work of my colleagues in the professional context. I found myself confronted, for the majority of them, with writings that did not suit their level of studies at all, or even our professional field. Consider, for example, this sentence:
« In view of the growing place of the mobile phone in our lives, the telephone industry is sure to develop for many years to come.. »
This same sentence could have been written in a simpler way, and above all more effective. We could therefore have had:
« The growing place of the mobile phone in our lives ensures the development of the telephone industry for a long time to come. »
First, note the deletion of the expression "in view of". Although the use of this expression is not a misspelling, it is still not useful for understanding the sentence. Indeed, this expression is too much in this sentence; this sentence in which to use more common words would have allowed any reader to better understand the context of the message conveyed.
Then, taking into account the number of words in that sentence, you will notice a difference of 07 words. Indeed, 20 words for the rewritten sentence against 27 words for the initial sentence. In general, a sentence should contain an average of 20 words. An ideal number of words which refers to making use of short sentences in the same paragraph for a better balance. It is much more conceivable to alternate the length of sentences in a paragraph in order to have a more rhythmic writing. However, sentences longer than 35 words do not facilitate reading or comprehension, thus attesting to the existence of a length limit. This rule applies to anyone whether a simple person or a scholar, since its violation hinders the short memory capacity of the human brain.
In addition, also note the substitution of “for many years” by “long”. This choice mainly refers to studies of Rudolf Flesch on readability, where he highlights the importance of using short words for greater efficiency in reading.
Finally, you could see the change of the phase from a passive voice to an active voice. The sentence is thus more understandable. In fact, the structure proposed in this sentence shows in a more precise and clear manner the link between the growing role of the telephone and the development of the telephone market. A cause and effect link that allows the reader to understand the subject.
Ultimately, writing a text simply allows the recipient to read it to the end, to understand it without asking questions; this is where the effectiveness of your writing lies.
