Ukubaluleka kokulalela okuyiqiniso
Esikhathini lapho imithetho yobuchwepheshe neziphazamiso zihlala njalo, sidinga ubuciko bokulalela kakhulu kunangaphambili. Kwesithi “Ubuciko Bokulalela – Thuthukisa Amandla Okulalela Ngekhono”, uDominick Barbara uveza umehluko phakathi kokuzwa nokulalela ngempela. Akumangazi ukuthi abaningi bethu bazizwa benqamuka ekuxhumaneni kwethu kwansuku zonke; empeleni, bambalwa kithi abazijwayeza ukulalela ngenkuthalo.
UBarbara uveza umqondo wokuthi ukulalela akukhona nje ukucosha amagama, kodwa kumayelana nokuqonda umlayezo oyisisekelo, imizwa nezinhloso. Kwabaningi, ukulalela kuyisenzo sokungenzi lutho. Nokho, ukulalela okukhuthele kudinga ukuhlanganyela okuphelele, ukuba khona ngaleso sikhathi, nozwela lwangempela.
Ngaphandle kwamagama, kuwumbuzo wokubona iphimbo, izinkulumo ezingasho amazwi ngisho nokuthula. Kukule mininingwane lapho ingqikithi yeqiniso yokuxhumana ilele. UBarbara uchaza ukuthi, ezimweni eziningi, abantu abafuni izimpendulo, kodwa bafuna ukuqondwa nokuqinisekiswa.
Ukubona nokwenza ukubaluleka kokulalela ngenkuthalo kungaguqula ubudlelwano bethu, ukuxhumana kwethu, futhi ekugcineni nokuqonda kwethu thina nabanye. Ezweni lapho ukukhuluma ngokuphimisela kubonakala kuyinto evamile, uBarbara usikhumbuza amandla athule kodwa ajulile okulalela ngokucophelela.
Izithiyo Zokulalela Ngokukhuthele kanye Nendlela Yokuzinqoba
Uma ukulalela ngenkuthalo kuyithuluzi elinamandla kangaka, kungani kungavamile ukusetshenziswa? UDominick Barbara kwethi “Ubuciko Bokulalela” ubheka izithiyo eziningi ezisivimbela ekubeni izilaleli ezilalelisisayo.
Okokuqala nje, indawo enomsindo yezwe lanamuhla idlala indima enkulu. Iziphazamiso ezihlala njalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yizaziso ezivela kumafoni ethu noma ukukhuluphala okusihlaselayo, kwenza kube nzima ukugxila. Lokho akusho ukuthi sigxile ezintweni zethu zangaphakathi, ukubandlulula kwethu, imibono yethu esinayo ngaphambili, engasebenza njengesihlungi, ihlanekezele noma ivimbe esikuzwayo.
UBarbara ubuye agcizelele ugibe “wokulalela mbumbulu”. Kulapho senza inkohliso yokulalela, kuyilapho ngaphakathi sakha impendulo yethu noma sicabanga ngenye into. Lokhu kuba khona kwesigamu kubhubhisa ukuxhumana kweqiniso futhi kuvimbela ukuqondana.
Uzinqoba kanjani-ke lezi zithiyo? NgokukaBarbara, isinyathelo sokuqala ukuqwashisa. Ukuqaphela eyethu imigoqo ekulaleleni kubalulekile. Bese kuba mayelana nokuzilolongela ngamabomu ukulalela okugcwele, ukugwema iziphazamiso, ukuba khona ngokugcwele, kanye nokulwela ukuqonda okunye ngempela. Kuphinde futhi ngezinye izikhathi kusho ukumisa i-ajenda yethu kanye nemizwa yethu ukuze sibeke phambili isikhulumi.
Ngokufunda ukuhlonza kanye nokunqoba lezi zithiyo, singaguqula ukusebenzisana kwethu futhi sakhe ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso nobunenjongo.
Umthelela omkhulu wokulalela ekuthuthukisweni komuntu siqu nokomsebenzi
Ku-"Ubuciko Bokulalela", u-Dominick Barbara akagcini kuphela kumakhenika wokulalela. Iphinde ihlole umthelela woguquko ukulalela okusebenzayo nokunenhloso okungaba nawo ezimpilweni zethu zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi.
Ezingeni lomuntu siqu, ukulalela ngokucophelela kuqinisa izibopho, kudala ukwethembana futhi kwenza ukuqondana okujulile. Ngokwenza abantu bazizwe bebalulekile futhi bezwiwa, sivula indlela yobudlelwano bangempela. Lokhu kubangela ubungane obuqinile, ubudlelwano bothando obuvumelanayo kanye namandla omndeni angcono.
Ngokomsebenzi, ukulalela ngenkuthalo kuyikhono eliyigugu. Kwenza kube lula ukusebenzisana, kunciphisa ukungezwani futhi kukhuthaze indawo yokusebenza enhle. Kubaholi, ukulalela ngenkuthalo kusho ukuqoqa ulwazi olubalulekile, ukuqonda izidingo zeqembu, nokwenza izinqumo ezinolwazi. Emaqenjini, lokhu kuholela ekuxhumaneni okuphumelelayo kakhudlwana, amaphrojekthi aphumelelayo kanye nomuzwa onamandla wokuba ngowabanye.
U-Barbara uphethe ngokukhumbula ukuthi ukulalela akusona isenzo sokwenziwa, kodwa ukukhetha okusebenzayo ukuhlanganyela ngokugcwele nomunye. Ngokukhetha ukulalela, asigcini ngokucebisa ubudlelwano bethu, kodwa futhi sizinikeza amathuba okufunda, ukukhula kanye nokuchuma kuzo zonke izici zokuphila kwethu.
Zitholele kuvidiyo engezansi ukunambitha ngezahluko zokuqala zomsindo zencwadi. Ngokucwiliswa ngokuphelele, sincoma ngokuqinile ukuthi ufunde le ncwadi iyonke.
