Most people are afraid of criticism. Why ? Quite simply because it has always been considered a reproach or a devaluation. However, it can constitute a lever for development provided it is constructive. You still have to know how to formulate it, issue it and welcome it.
What is constructive criticism?
Constructive criticism is quite an art. It must allow the person concerned to identify his weak points and the gaps that he must fill in various points. This is not the case with the negative review. This tends to generate feelings of guilt and frustration. In addition, it seriously destroys self-esteem.
According to experts in interpersonal relations, you have to make a criticism when necessary, especially when you appreciate someone. But it must be well expressed. This helps the person to progress in life. But in all circumstances, you always have to remember that you have to choose your words before you speak, and when it matters.
How to issue constructive criticism?
For fear of the reaction of the person concerned, most people hesitate to issue a criticism. How is she going to take the remark? Could she be offended? Sometimes we even wonder about the future of the relationship. Of course, it is impossible to know how the person will react and besides, nothing can be changed.
On the other hand, one can bring more care to the way of formulating and issuing criticism. It must also be made to be admissible. So there are some rules to respect to reach such an objective.
Choose the perfect time
It is strongly discouraged to react under the influence of anger. Otherwise, we run the risk of launching hurtful and demotivating words. In order to avoid this regrettable mistake that can ruin the relationship, you have to wait for the storm to calm down before saying anything. Moreover, one can vent his anger in many ways.
If it is essential to react in the immediate future, it is necessary to avoid sending the comments to the person targeted. In other words, one should not criticize, but rather a generalized remark.
Always rely on facts
The second rule of thumb is not to criticize his attitude. It amounts to judging him. As an example, telling him he is stunned if he has forgotten an important appointment is nothing but a reproach. We must always be based on facts. That's why we have to remember the circumstances, the place, the date and the time.
Preparation is also required. The criticism to be emitted must be formulated in advance, taking care to provide concrete examples. In addition, it is necessary to prepare the meeting. If necessary, do not hesitate to practice to find the right tone to adopt. We must always keep in mind that we have a message to transmit.
· Propose a solution
When we make constructive criticism, we have to accept that the person concerned also has a say. In other words, you have to be open to discussion and let it express itself freely. Thanks to this exchange, we encourage the other to properly assess the situation.
Taking his suggestions into account is just as essential. At the same time, you have to help him improve things by coming up with your own solutions. Once again, we must remain factual and adopt a positive outlook. So instead of saying "you should have", it is better to use "you could".
Highlight your strengths
Making a constructive criticism also means highlighting each other's strengths in order to comfort them and protect their self-esteem. By becoming aware of one's abilities, the person concerned gains in motivation and self-confidence. It can even surpass itself.
Also, remembering the right things the person has done is a better way to deal with your anger. You will forget your disappointments, because you believe that he can make a difference and solve the problem. Warning ! Throughout the interview, it is essential to be sincere.
Follow up
The objective with constructive criticism is to push the person concerned to optimize their progress in the long term. In other words, your intervention does not stop after the first interview. We must follow up.
This means that you must remain available if he needs help or if he encounters a problem again. Obviously, it is impossible to reach out to him if he has not changed his behavior.
When speaking with your interlocutor, it is important to stay calm. We must also leave aside feelings. Keep in mind that the purpose is not to complain, but to find a way to improve the situation.
How to receive constructive criticism?
If you are in a position to receive criticism, what should you do? Obviously, this is not easy. However, you must let your interlocutor speak. At no time should you interrupt it. In addition, you must have a good listening skills.
It is also best not to minimize the problem. We must receive the criticism issued and all the emotion that accompanies it. There is no question of justifying yourself. It must be made clear to your interlocutor that you really want to understand his words. If necessary, do not hesitate to ask him questions. Indeed, you can absolutely ask for specific facts.
If negative emotions come to overwhelm you, avoid answering immediately. The best is to take a step back and analyze the content of the criticism received. This can help you to better understand the message of your interlocutor. That's when you can give your opinion.
At the same time, think of suggesting an improvement track based on your request. If you do this, you can improve your performance and also improve your relationships with your family, associates and supervisors.
To conclude, constructive criticism is necessary. It must allow the person concerned to gain confidence in themselves and find the right means to optimize their performance. Once again, the words chosen must be carefully chosen. Criticism must recall the facts, evoke the strengths of the person targeted and include a track for improvement. If you receive constructive criticism, you must also learn to receive it. We must not get carried away. You must listen to your interlocutor and analyze his words. You must remember that the ability to issue constructive criticism or to receive them in case of errors on your part, and a quality that will strengthen you.
