Assertiveness is an important asset both in everyday life and in the workplace. In the world of work, a high rate of assertiveness will bring you a considerable advantage and more particularly if you are in charge of important files. To better understand the foundations of assertiveness and its impact on corporate communication, we invite you to follow our article until the end.
What is assertiveness?
The word assertiveness comes from English-born Assertiveness, a concept initiated by New York psychologist Andrew SALTER to 1950. Joseph Wolpe developed this concept by defining it as a "free expression of all emotions vis-à-vis a third party, with the exception of anxiety".
Assertiveness is a way of expressing self-awareness without altering others, and this in a direct way. On the other hand, assertiveness opposes the three typically human attitudes of flight, manipulation and aggression. These lead to poor communication and cause tensions, conflicts between the interlocutors, misunderstandings and a waste of time.
Difference with self-control?
Assertiveness differs from self-control in that part of its definition involves self-assertion. It is therefore important to recognize oneself and to accept oneself as we are. In the opposite sense, self-control means going against one's self-awareness and needs, especially if one is impulsive, fearful, fearful or otherwise. It is therefore a question of choosing an unnatural reaction to one's emotions, values, personality ...
Assertiveness and non-verbal communication
Assertiveness should also match your non-verbal communication. When you address a person, your message is heard at 10% thanks to the words and the rest is a matter of attitude, gestures and intonation of the voice mainly. Thus, it is important not to make the mistake of focusing only on the oral message since the form is also important both in the presentation and in the communication in general.
Mastering the nonverbal requires a lot of exercises, because it depends on certain factors such as heart rate, complexion, dilation of the pupils ... Thus, to ensure a harmony between the verbal and nonverbal, the ideal solution for any the world would be sincere on the subject. This harmony is called congruence.
Congruence ensures the establishment of a good quality exchange. A communication devoid of congruence therefore means manipulation. This last form of communication, however, requires a considerable amount of energy to keep its interlocutor in a very precise vision. Hence the confusion between the terms "communication", "persuasive power" and "manipulation".
Communication or relationship
Communication is the exchange between two interlocutors, but all exchange is not communication. Thus, it is also important to establish the exact meaning of this term, which has recently been used in situations that are not really in accord with its true definition.
Indeed, being a good communicator also means having the ability to open up to his interlocutor, with the aim of better discerning his needs and not presenting his ideas as the only ones with the right to quote. There is therefore a real difference between a semblance of communication and commercial or other propaganda which is often unhealthy manipulation and the purpose of which is to force the audience to adopt an idea.
In this case, the manipulation is the proof of the establishment of a relationship, between two individuals, purely based on the interest that each can provide to the other. In general, this relationship offers advantages to one to the detriment of the other.
Assertiveness against manipulation
When a salesman sells a product without really knowing the real needs of his customers, but only for the purpose of selling his goods, we can say that there is manipulation. In this case, the customer must know how to be relatively assertive by making known his needs and problems and choose only the products that meet them. To avoid this kind of problem, any company must focus on the needs of its customers before putting forward its services or products. Otherwise, it is difficult to honestly convince them to appropriate the items for sale.
If you are so tempted to use manipulation to sell a product or idea, increase your ability to be sensitive to different situations or events. It's about your ability to open up to the person you're talking to and to recognize your needs regardless of where you stand. This means adopting a vision in "4 dimensions", those of space and that of time. It comes down to taking into account his past, the place he has held and that he holds ...
The steps to follow for good communication
listen
Whether you work in the care services or hospitality departments of a company, do not make the mistake of cutting a client's word to answer it immediately and save time. Give him an opportunity to explain his problem or why he prefers to choose one product over another. Thus, when you want to offer another product or solution, he will be more inclined to receive and accept your ideas. While an angry person will systematically refuse them.
Speak out
An assertive person can express his self-consciousness or assert himself. Some do it easily, others do not. In this second case, the frustration may be such that it spreads throughout the body and generates resentment and anger. The best is therefore to express directly what one thinks without turning away from the subject and without attacking his interlocutor.
Accept and respond to returns
No idea is perfect, all have a flaw. Most of the time, it is our interlocutors who notice this flaw. To welcome the idea of others implies a desire for improvement or openness to new ideas. The mistake would be to deny everyone's imperfections and to limit oneself to one's original ideas.
The communication style that you currently have is the result of many years of habit. Also, expect to have to practice a certain amount of time before mastering the principles of assertiveness. The biggest challenge is to learn how to listen effectively to identify your needs, you will gradually learn to respond without acting aggressively. Thus, assertiveness is the right balance between passive behavior and aggressive behavior.
